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Sometimes I can't help but laugh at the things you people send me. If I wasn't still young, and if I had to face the bladder issues of my mother, I'd probably be crossing my legs and doing the pee dance on a daily basis. So I thought I should share some of the more genius things y'all have told me.

On my insistence on writing letters instead of typing, in order to avoid carpal tunnel: "And don't worry, I'll definitely be joining you in the carpal-tunnel recovery ward. We'll be walking around like rejects with clawed up hands wrapped in bandages. Pretty." -Sean

"Local Boy, pointing to my friend, trying to find a Chinese word to describe her: Not athletic, that means lesbian. You are plump.
Her, offended: Plump?
Him: Yes, because you have [pointing] boobs.
Her, laughing: Well I am a girl! We have those!
Him: My girlfriend not have boobs. No girls in China have boobs. What you must do to get them. What you eat. I tell her how." -Lindsay (little sis in China)

"The only thing you are absolutely forbidden to do is to feed the PIDGEONS. When I was in Venice, I thought they were adorable, now I know them for the awful, dirty, disgusting creatures that they are. So although they will be looking to you for their survival, I hope you thwart them in their efforts." -Kathy (Mom)

"Dylan lives in the ghetto. We heard some automatic gunfire when we went back there last week, which was, of course, a lot of fun." -Blanket, on living in DC

"Well, enough of this shit. Must go back to my book. Another of those non-thought, unmeaningful, spy books. Oh well, it keeps me entertained and out of trouble. On second thought, it might do me a bit of good to find just a little trouble." -Kathy (Mom)

"Unfortunately however, me and my roommates went out to a bar the other night and came back and were joking around and one of my roommates ended up shoving another one of the roommates into the wall... creating a giant sized person like hole in the wall. Currently it's been duct taped together so it's looking real classy." -Peter

"I'm also obsessed with the new dance show, "So You Think You Can Dance?" It's like American Idol but with dancers and I have a crush on a couple of the guys. Too bad they're probably gay. Oh how I long for a man... " -K.B.

"I think the more you date the more you see how ugly, boring, and mean most guys are." -Blanket

"The deal with stinky tofu is that it smells so bad that people eat it because of the remarkable fact that the taste is relatively much better than the odor. I'm confused." -Lindsay (little sis in China)

"For 8 hours a day I hover somewhere between angry middle aged Puerto Rican woman (shouting "Boy! Are you serious? I'm calling your auntie after school!") and cheesy lower elementary school teacher bribing my class with lollypops and the chance to name the class puppet. I have never been so familiar with stickers, shoe lace tying, needless bandaids, cheers, and bending glasses back into shape after a fight at gym." -Bree